well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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