I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
50% drunk capacity currently
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
