i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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