My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
