if you like me you must not know who I am
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
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