can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
