I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
should my penis look like a turkey
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
