oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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