their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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