The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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