This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
