you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
