That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
