Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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