I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
