I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize