It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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