dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize