Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
