So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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