I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
