I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
