he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I forget how to act sober
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
