Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
