I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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