my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
