Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
