i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
