i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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