Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
