So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
