I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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