You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Text me some of your sweat
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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