the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
