I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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