This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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