The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize