His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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