He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
