haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
try to milk me bitch
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
