i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
