so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
