Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
jump out the window naked night went bad
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
