I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
