Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize