i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
