hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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