TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize