Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize