Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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