If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
