You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
