she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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