As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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