Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
