How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
