She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
