why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
