mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
