her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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