The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
