Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
