I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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